Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The MS has wiped out my right leg and I have three kids in the tub. What to do? It's gone all floppy. Anyone have any tips?

I'm not sure my big girls are up to this. They are normally upbeat and helpful, but with Steadfast gone all these months and being unable to walk (at the moment) I am relying on them more to be my legs... it's getting to the point that no matter which one I ask to help they say "can't you ask Jane???" or "can't you ask Elizabeth??" And honestly, I don't feel I should lean on them. They're kids after all. Not mothers or nurses. They didn't sign up to have a mom with MS. On the other hand... this is what we are given to work with. What would I do if they both weren't here and Steadfast was gone? I would have to manage somehow. I need to find some way to manage.


Jody said...

Hugs to you!

Is there any possibility you could get a helper? Talk to your doctor and maybe they have some suggestions that your insurance could help with. Your doc can get you a referral to a social worker who can help with finding ways to manage at home. A social worker will help you with all the insurance red tape etc. etc.. They are amazing.

I will send up some prayers for you today.

Hind's Feet said...

Jody, thanks for your prayers.

Insurance is not an option for me because I had a pre-existing condition when my husband's former employer dropped our insurance without letting us know for a few months. We pay over $1000 a month to insure the girls and Steadfast. To insure me, as well, doubles that amount and includes a huge deductible of a few thousand.

We are hoping after our move to the state where my husband's current employer is, that we will have other options for insurance and can get things taken care of. :)

My leg is better today and I am able to walk. These attacks only last for a few days, so they're only minor inconveniences. I know many people have it much worse than I.

MJ said...

I don't have any tips - but you're in my daily prayers. Hugs and kissies to you! And in addition, I'll send some of my Aunts Wiccan based recommendation for any illness: soft healing pink vibrating light:)

I just went through the MRIs and other various battery of tests for MS myself due to imbalance ("just a clutz" the MD said...). Was cleared - this time, hopefully for all time (but I will have yearly MRIs). My heart breaks for all the preparation you need to think of for living with those numbness attacks and weakness.

I have to wonder aloud here, if your children DID in fact sign on to have a Mom with MS so they COULD be of help in their own ways - smiles that beckon you to take a picture and save a mom/child memory, unsolicited hugs and kissies at moments you need them but they are unaware of your thoughts, warm towels when they do get out of the bath, and the motivation for you each day to rise and monitor or make breakfast.

Don't underestimate what you bring to them even if it doesn't meet up to your own personal standards. Like a second child, they'll never know what it's like to be doted on as the first child. Just with your children, they will know parenting by how you live it not by how you think it should be. It's hard to imagine, but think of the wonderful unique future parenting techniques you are instilling in each of them by relying on each other a little more than other families.

Hugs and kissies to you!

Hind's Feet said...

Wise words CS. It is character building for them, isn't it? ;o) They really are treasures and willing to help... I think I transpose my guilty feelings on to them. (I shouldn't have to ask them to do this, so they shouldn't want to do this.) This is an opportunity for learning and growing for all of us.