Better full than empty.

It seems several people don't understand, how when you let God plan your family size, He also gives you desire for babies... and more babies... ;o) To have been longing for another for nearly two years, and to have several miscarriages under my belt, to see someone announce "#3" with responses of "you're crazy" or "my sympathies" or "better you than me" or "Lord, help us!" simply HURTS! I saw one woman who has been longing for her first for nearly a year respond with jealousy and I hurt for her too. How can people be so flippant about life's greatest treasure? Are they not one of God's greatest gifts? Would any of us trade one of our children for $1,000,000?? I think not, but then why do people seem to long more for money than children? How much joy did we receive with our first-born? With our second? Don't we realize our third will bring so much more? I can tell you I felt richly blessed with my first child.... but that doesn't near compare to the wealth I feel when I gaze at my five together. I practically burst... and I'm sure being a billionaire would not fill me so much as this. With each child my joy has doubled, tripled, quadrupled, quintupled... how can I not long for another?

Thankfully I do have dear friends, with even more children than I, who understand this longing, and I am not alone and lonesome in feeling this way.

Just, you know, if I do turn up pregnant... please don't express shocked and negative reponses in front of my kids. If you say "you're crazy", they don't realize you mean I'm crazy about the baby... they think you mean having *any* kids. They think "my sympathies" means we lost another baby. They think "better you than me" means no one should want any kids... and guess what? My kids are kids! They think you mean no one should want them! And please don't say "oh my, you have your hands full" as if they're a lot of ill-behaved hooligans.... when they're not ill-behaved hooligans... and don't say it front of them... it takes some time to rebuild that damage to their self-esteem.

Better full than empty.

Comments

Julie said…
I know what you mean and it annoys me, too! Sure you'll have your hands full, but a parent has their hands full with just one! It always amazes me that people can say such idiotic, selfish things and not realize how hurtful they can be.
25 March, 2005 18:45
impromptu-mom said…
Better full than empty, indeed! I deal with this mentality quite often here. Most of our freinds are of the young, married, two-income, "but think of all the things we would have to give up if we had children" variety. Children bring such unexpressable, boundless joy to your life. How anyone could not want to have that is beyond my understanding. More kids just mean more joy!
27 March, 2005 22:04
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why we allow God to plan our family size.

( Allow? Allow God? Who am I to allow God? ) “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5, 6 Sometimes people ask me what scripture we base our family size on. I think they expect me to quote verses like "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” - Psalm 127:3-5 Or to quote all the "Be fruitful and multiply" verses. Or they expect me to recant how, throughout the Bible, God considers children a blessing to be desired (in the stories of Abraham & Sarah... of Isaac & Rebecca... of Rachel & Leah... of Hannah) But for us it was not only what we found in scripture, but in looking at God'...
Read more

What do you do...

What if you long for something, but you have a spiritual conviction not to pursue that something... but you see other Christians pursuing it and validating their reasons.... and you feel your reasons look foolish to them, and you feel foolish for standing in what you believe to be true... yet you know you still cannot pursue it, because you have no doubt it is wrong? How does anyone make a stand anymore in this world? There are compromises right and left and people rushing to validate their reasons, and ready to shout "don't you dare judge me!" When I'm not judging, just stating my own stand. If they feel hurt... "socked in the stomach"... isn't it perhaps because the Spirit is convicting them? If there is no truth to my stance, why should it phase them? We are usually hurt most by the truth, when we are not standing in it, but our spirit knows we should be. If someone says "your daughter is a brat" and you know she is not, it doesn...
Read more