Friday, March 25, 2005

Better full than empty.

It seems several people don't understand, how when you let God plan your family size, He also gives you desire for babies... and more babies... ;o) To have been longing for another for nearly two years, and to have several miscarriages under my belt, to see someone announce "#3" with responses of "you're crazy" or "my sympathies" or "better you than me" or "Lord, help us!" simply HURTS! I saw one woman who has been longing for her first for nearly a year respond with jealousy and I hurt for her too. How can people be so flippant about life's greatest treasure? Are they not one of God's greatest gifts? Would any of us trade one of our children for $1,000,000?? I think not, but then why do people seem to long more for money than children? How much joy did we receive with our first-born? With our second? Don't we realize our third will bring so much more? I can tell you I felt richly blessed with my first child.... but that doesn't near compare to the wealth I feel when I gaze at my five together. I practically burst... and I'm sure being a billionaire would not fill me so much as this. With each child my joy has doubled, tripled, quadrupled, quintupled... how can I not long for another?

Thankfully I do have dear friends, with even more children than I, who understand this longing, and I am not alone and lonesome in feeling this way.

Just, you know, if I do turn up pregnant... please don't express shocked and negative reponses in front of my kids. If you say "you're crazy", they don't realize you mean I'm crazy about the baby... they think you mean having *any* kids. They think "my sympathies" means we lost another baby. They think "better you than me" means no one should want any kids... and guess what? My kids are kids! They think you mean no one should want them! And please don't say "oh my, you have your hands full" as if they're a lot of ill-behaved hooligans.... when they're not ill-behaved hooligans... and don't say it front of them... it takes some time to rebuild that damage to their self-esteem.

Better full than empty.


Julie M. said...

I know what you mean and it annoys me, too! Sure you'll have your hands full, but a parent has their hands full with just one! It always amazes me that people can say such idiotic, selfish things and not realize how hurtful they can be.

impromptu-mom said...

Better full than empty, indeed! I deal with this mentality quite often here. Most of our freinds are of the young, married, two-income, "but think of all the things we would have to give up if we had children" variety. Children bring such unexpressable, boundless joy to your life. How anyone could not want to have that is beyond my understanding. More kids just mean more joy!