What do you do...
What if you long for something, but you have a spiritual conviction not to pursue that something... but you see other Christians pursuing it and validating their reasons.... and you feel your reasons look foolish to them, and you feel foolish for standing in what you believe to be true... yet you know you still cannot pursue it, because you have no doubt it is wrong? How does anyone make a stand anymore in this world? There are compromises right and left and people rushing to validate their reasons, and ready to shout "don't you dare judge me!" When I'm not judging, just stating my own stand. If they feel hurt... "socked in the stomach"... isn't it perhaps because the Spirit is convicting them? If there is no truth to my stance, why should it phase them? We are usually hurt most by the truth, when we are not standing in it, but our spirit knows we should be. If someone says "your daughter is a brat" and you know she is not, it doesn't hurt at all and you can laugh at them. If someone says "your daughter is a brat" and you secretly suspect she is, it does hurt, because you had hoped know one else had noticed, and you feel partly to blame for not training her properly. Truth hurts, truth convicts. If we are hurt by something, it behooves us to more closely examing *why* it hurts.
Comments
Mel, the hard part is, I assume sometimes that other Christians feel the same way... that it's a "no-brainer" that something is wrong, and then I'm completely thrown for a loop when they look at me as if I've grown two heads, LOL
I actually realized when living in USA that there are even cultural things in sin. Nudity is one. We Finns have a strong sauna culture and we've got use to nakedness. Still I don't want to appear naked in front of men etc. Anyway breastfeeding in public my breast showing was very natural thing for me to do but it wasn't approved in USA. just to mention one. And it really is God's deal to judge people. We should try to do our best and leave the rest to the God.
A friend taught me something I will never forget, and I find it may apply to your questions here.
Sin is meeting a legitimate need in illegitimate ways. Your longing is a need. I believe God is the author of longing- Proverbs states, "I have placed eternity in your heart." Longings are meant to fire our hearts toward our God-given passions. Say I long for a marriage of deep respect, comfort, true love. I may not have that marriage so one illegitimate way to meet that longing is to seek to fill those needs with someone else. Could be another man, or in making someone other than him my best friend. The higher and much harder call is to work, pray, devote myself to that kind of relationship with my husband.
I disagree that only the truth hurts. Proverbs also states, "Thoughtless words cut like a sword." Whether they are true or not, words can kill- reputations, hearts, souls. Just think of a cutting remark someone made of you when you were a child which you've since discovered was profoundly untrue as an adult.
Maiju, I lived for a long time in the Netherlands and I understand what you mean about nudity (topless on the beaches, FA commercials, etc)... but I have found the US more open about breastfeeding in public than the Netherlands. Still, I have heard of people breastfeeding very modestly here (*nothing* showing), but people found just the very thought offensive.
Sparrow, that's exactly how the Lord teaches me sometimes too. When I react strongly to something, it really means I should step back and examine why.
Mel, there's another slippery slope, LOL... Can a person who's been a Christian 35 years tell a baby Christian "Because I'm older than you, that's why!" LOL
However I disagree on your one point that if we are doing something right that others comments don't bother us. I know that comments about our family size can hurt even though I see my family as God's plan and a blessing. People can make you feel so misunderstood and words can cut like a knife.
I do hurt by unkind and untrue words too.
And why does it hurt when they make comments about your family size? Your family is larger than mine, of course, and perhaps you have had crueler comments. I'm trying to think the last time I truly felt hurt by a family size comment... and I think I was pregnant with #4... who was conceived after two consecutive miscarriages, and who I felt so blessed to be carrying... yet so afraid of losing... and I was hurt that others did not realize just how valuable and precious she was... In that case, I think the hurt was more for my child than for myself... and is that a different kind of hurt? Not a "conviction of truth" hurt, but more of a wounded mother lion type of hurt?
i make take offense, but then when i mellow out and think things through, i realize God is trying to send me a message. i just may not be all that thrilled with who He chose as the messenger.
(if you could change your blog settings to have an rss feed, i would be most appreciative and could add you to my bloglines :)
I really admire you being a foster parents! I would love to be one too. We even took a course and were approved to be foster parents. At this moment our appartment is too small for extra kids and my husband isn't ready for it yet. Hopefully the day will come because the need for foster parents is growing fast in Finland mostly because of the alcohol problems.
Kathy and Hind's feet,
if someone has hurt you because of your family size I have to tell you that I envy you both! I would love to have a big family. I guess it's not ment for me...
BTW, you have no idea how closely related your IVF post is to the reason why I posted this post! I wonder if it is a coinky-dink or a God thing?
(thank you for the feedburner link - i am so glad i was finally bold enough to ask you! now i can keep up as soon as you post something! yay!!)
I'm sure some of it is my own weakness in not meeting with God enough on my own. Like the people who depended on the Pharisees to tell them how God wanted them to live...sometimes I think that if so-and-so is such a great Christian and does such-and-such, then it must be the right thing to do and I must be sinning. When in fact there is no Biblical truth to it.
These are the times I wish that God spoke in pure Black and White and left no grey areas. I could be great at obeying the rules or getting punished for disobeying. It's the not knowing WHICH OF THE TWO I'm currently doing that gets to me.
Hope that all makes sense...