Tuesday, October 04, 2005

What do you do...

What if you long for something, but you have a spiritual conviction not to pursue that something... but you see other Christians pursuing it and validating their reasons.... and you feel your reasons look foolish to them, and you feel foolish for standing in what you believe to be true... yet you know you still cannot pursue it, because you have no doubt it is wrong? How does anyone make a stand anymore in this world? There are compromises right and left and people rushing to validate their reasons, and ready to shout "don't you dare judge me!" When I'm not judging, just stating my own stand. If they feel hurt... "socked in the stomach"... isn't it perhaps because the Spirit is convicting them? If there is no truth to my stance, why should it phase them? We are usually hurt most by the truth, when we are not standing in it, but our spirit knows we should be. If someone says "your daughter is a brat" and you know she is not, it doesn't hurt at all and you can laugh at them. If someone says "your daughter is a brat" and you secretly suspect she is, it does hurt, because you had hoped know one else had noticed, and you feel partly to blame for not training her properly. Truth hurts, truth convicts. If we are hurt by something, it behooves us to more closely examing *why* it hurts.

21 comments:

Kimberly said...

I agree.

Khyraen said...

This is the same thing that frustrates me. I try to kindly tell someone that my child is not allowed to watch/do/whatever a certain thing, and the reaction is so strong, you would have thought I had personally attacked that person. Then, I feel a need to explain myself, and it only gets worse. Truth is, these people are usually self proclaimed Christians who know they shouldn't be watching/doing/whatever the very thing I forbid my daughter to do, so my stance is an attack on them because their spirit says, "You should not watch/do/whatever this as well."

Good post. Mind if I add a link to your blog on my blogs?

Melanie said...

Great post, H! I struggle with these things at times, too. Life isn't easy, is it? (((HUGS)))

Hind's Feet said...

Khyraen, you're welcome to.

Mel, the hard part is, I assume sometimes that other Christians feel the same way... that it's a "no-brainer" that something is wrong, and then I'm completely thrown for a loop when they look at me as if I've grown two heads, LOL

Maiju said...

I think it's very hard to stand for your faith nowadays because people accuse you to be non tolerant when you do that. It's hard to explain that I totally accept the person but some actions are simply wrong. I have a christian sister who drinks rather often. That's actually too common within christians here in Finland because alcohol is our national problem. Very good question is: Can we tolerate the in tolerant? I think we should but can't do it very easily. May God help us to stand for our faith more in action than in speak. it's not easy!

Melanie said...

Thinking about this post a bit more, I just wanted to comment that although someone else may be a Christian, they may not be in the same place in their walk with Christ as we are, and vice versa. If someone is fairly new in their faith, they may not understand why something may be wrong and thus need to be educated about it. On the other hand, everyone has their "pet sins", which, of course, doesn't make the sin okay. Another thought ... sometimes our conscience may be more sensitive to some things than the conscience of others. Remember when Paul talked about eating unclean animals? The Jewish Christians would have a problem with it because of the way they were raised although God made it clear (to Peter in his vision) that it was okay, but the Christians who hadn't been raised as Jews wouldn't. Just some thoughts that were rambling around in my brain.

Maiju said...

Good thinking Melanie!

I actually realized when living in USA that there are even cultural things in sin. Nudity is one. We Finns have a strong sauna culture and we've got use to nakedness. Still I don't want to appear naked in front of men etc. Anyway breastfeeding in public my breast showing was very natural thing for me to do but it wasn't approved in USA. just to mention one. And it really is God's deal to judge people. We should try to do our best and leave the rest to the God.

tonia/sparrow said...

I know just what you are talking about.

Many times I have reacted strongly to something, then realized later I was defensive because I was wrong.

I've also been guilty of thinking I know how everyone else should live...something God has been painfully humbling me in for the past decade. He is good to not leave me in my pride. :)

truevyne said...

Dear Hinds,
A friend taught me something I will never forget, and I find it may apply to your questions here.
Sin is meeting a legitimate need in illegitimate ways. Your longing is a need. I believe God is the author of longing- Proverbs states, "I have placed eternity in your heart." Longings are meant to fire our hearts toward our God-given passions. Say I long for a marriage of deep respect, comfort, true love. I may not have that marriage so one illegitimate way to meet that longing is to seek to fill those needs with someone else. Could be another man, or in making someone other than him my best friend. The higher and much harder call is to work, pray, devote myself to that kind of relationship with my husband.
I disagree that only the truth hurts. Proverbs also states, "Thoughtless words cut like a sword." Whether they are true or not, words can kill- reputations, hearts, souls. Just think of a cutting remark someone made of you when you were a child which you've since discovered was profoundly untrue as an adult.

Hind's Feet said...

Truevyne, that makes a lot of sense. I do believe my desire is from God, but I also believe only He can meet that desire and I seek Him in it. I did not say *only* the truth hurts, however. ;o)

Maiju, I lived for a long time in the Netherlands and I understand what you mean about nudity (topless on the beaches, FA commercials, etc)... but I have found the US more open about breastfeeding in public than the Netherlands. Still, I have heard of people breastfeeding very modestly here (*nothing* showing), but people found just the very thought offensive.

Sparrow, that's exactly how the Lord teaches me sometimes too. When I react strongly to something, it really means I should step back and examine why.

Mel, there's another slippery slope, LOL... Can a person who's been a Christian 35 years tell a baby Christian "Because I'm older than you, that's why!" LOL

Kathy said...

Heather that's a good topic to pause and think on.

However I disagree on your one point that if we are doing something right that others comments don't bother us. I know that comments about our family size can hurt even though I see my family as God's plan and a blessing. People can make you feel so misunderstood and words can cut like a knife.

truevyne said...

I read now your good words "We usually hurt most by the truth."
I do hurt by unkind and untrue words too.

Hind's Feet said...

Kathy, that's true too, and my blog stemmed from feeling hurt by comments by people who don't understand... and I think the comments hurt worse when they're from people you think *should* understand.

And why does it hurt when they make comments about your family size? Your family is larger than mine, of course, and perhaps you have had crueler comments. I'm trying to think the last time I truly felt hurt by a family size comment... and I think I was pregnant with #4... who was conceived after two consecutive miscarriages, and who I felt so blessed to be carrying... yet so afraid of losing... and I was hurt that others did not realize just how valuable and precious she was... In that case, I think the hurt was more for my child than for myself... and is that a different kind of hurt? Not a "conviction of truth" hurt, but more of a wounded mother lion type of hurt?

tonia/sparrow said...

Being misunderstood and criticised is so painful. When we used to do foster care, I would have to take the kids to the WIC office for checkups. Whenever I'd go in with my mixed little band of kids (some mine, some of different races or needs, sometimes just a lot of kids) I'd get the worst, derogatory comments. People thought I had all those kids with different dads. It really hurt me to be judged at a time when I was tired and trying to serve the Lord. *grin* I was young...thought I deserved special treatment for doing the Lord's work.

Of course, it helped me later, when I needed to learn to not do the same thing to others.

*Thinking of you and all your beautiful girls just makes me smile. What a lovely family you must be.

truth said...

I love this post! How many times have I sat in just this place. Thanks for your thoughtful words of truth.

silent wings said...

I can relate to your groanings. Sometimes I feel like Jeremiah inside. I do not often let my opinions be known but my heart is crushed by what I see. The thing I have learned most through his life is that he was faithful to obey the Lord in all that God told him to do...strange and "unsuccessful" in the eyes of others, but treasured in the heart of God.

~m2~ said...

i always find if something upsets me so much, or if i get defensive about it, then there has to be a degree of truth to it. why else would it hurt so badly if there wasn't?

i make take offense, but then when i mellow out and think things through, i realize God is trying to send me a message. i just may not be all that thrilled with who He chose as the messenger.

(if you could change your blog settings to have an rss feed, i would be most appreciative and could add you to my bloglines :)

Maiju said...

Sparrow,

I really admire you being a foster parents! I would love to be one too. We even took a course and were approved to be foster parents. At this moment our appartment is too small for extra kids and my husband isn't ready for it yet. Hopefully the day will come because the need for foster parents is growing fast in Finland mostly because of the alcohol problems.

Kathy and Hind's feet,

if someone has hurt you because of your family size I have to tell you that I envy you both! I would love to have a big family. I guess it's not ment for me...

Hind's Feet said...

Penni, try http://feeds.feedburner.com/HindsFeet :o) -- I'm not such a whiz at HTML that I've figured out how to add it to my blog.

BTW, you have no idea how closely related your IVF post is to the reason why I posted this post! I wonder if it is a coinky-dink or a God thing?

~m2~ said...

(((hinds feet))) i truly understand.

(thank you for the feedburner link - i am so glad i was finally bold enough to ask you! now i can keep up as soon as you post something! yay!!)

Prism said...

I'm sorry you were hurt by someone. I'm dealing with this on the flip side of the coin...I so want to fit in that sometimes I don't know what the TRUTH is, and I get confused between conviction and the false guilt of legalism. When some people quote scripture left and right to defend their stance, I can't always find a reason that they should be wrong, but my spirit just doesn't sit right with it.

I'm sure some of it is my own weakness in not meeting with God enough on my own. Like the people who depended on the Pharisees to tell them how God wanted them to live...sometimes I think that if so-and-so is such a great Christian and does such-and-such, then it must be the right thing to do and I must be sinning. When in fact there is no Biblical truth to it.

These are the times I wish that God spoke in pure Black and White and left no grey areas. I could be great at obeying the rules or getting punished for disobeying. It's the not knowing WHICH OF THE TWO I'm currently doing that gets to me.

Hope that all makes sense...